Decisions made in past, effect you in the future!
He walks in,
I stand.
He walks towards me,
My soul is in combat.
He looks in my eyes,
I cannot look away.
He smiles,
I...Dont.
He waits for me to speak,
I cant.
My conscience rendering me verbally inept.
Uncertainty lingers in his eyes.
O! His eyes.
The part of him I fell in love with first.
Dark, brown and with depth.
When he looks at me I feel bare,
Like he can see through to the very essence of my soul.
He continues to look at me,
Worry now etched in his face.
I open my mouth to speak...
But only a croak escapes me.
Where do I begin?
How do I start?
I look deeper into his eyes,
I still see the limitless love he holds for me.
Still the passion awakens only for me.
And for the hundredth time today,
Ask myself 'how could I?'
How could I be so selfish and thoughtless,
How could I destroy the trust he had in me.
When he had nobody,
I told him he had me.
When he could not love me,
I smothered him with mine.
When he could not trust,
I stayed loyal and devoted.
Until he had faith in me, in us, and took joy in saying it.
I watched as he grew into the accomplished confident man he is now.
And enjoyed knowing that I was at the foundation of it.
Yet now I am going to destroy that.
Now I am to tel him,
That the one person he could reply on,
Trust in, depend upon.
That the one he could go to for advise.
When he was weary could lean on.
The only one he could tell ' I love you'
Every morning and night.
The one he could tell his innermost fears.
The only one, whose shoulder he could cry on.
I! The one that always told him, I would be by his side forever.
Now would tell him that it was not to be be.
That it was a lie.
That the one thing he asked of me.
I could not do.
And now I am going to pay the ultimate price.
I will lose you...forever!
How do you tell the man that you love,
The man that you want to marry and bare his children.
How do you tell him that due to your own selfish ways,
Your relationship will have to end.
That due to your weakness, he will lose the one thing he treasures most.
That because you lied and covered your tracks perfectly.
You only had four months left.
Four months till the silent, undetected untill last night, army of cancers that have invaded your body,
Will painfully and slowly take your life.
All because you did not give up smoking, as he had asked.
So please anybody.
Somebody!
Tell me how...
How do I tell him?
Copyright information
exposure archive